1 1/2

Before

After!

Today is day 1 1/2 of my 2nd time dreadlocks. it feels awesome to have them back and also like i am back to my normal hair, they are beautiful and i am so thankful for my friends Ginger and Rachel for doing them super duper! and i am sorry for not waiting until i came home Belton people, but you will see them in person soon. here is a little picture of them.

whistling

one of my goals in life would be to be as good as this guy at whistling.

http://www.wimp.com/whistlingguy/

Dub

i know Dubstep is kinda overdone but if i could watch people like this dance every time dubstep was played then it would be worth it!
http://www.wimp.com/dancedubstep/

Beauty

my sister found this and then i read it, and then i loved it.

On Joy and Sorrow
 Kahlil Gibran in “The Prophet”

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, “Joy is greater thar sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

this is wonderous

http://www.wimp.com/panoramiccamera/
watch this it has amazing quality and would be super awesome to have for some quotable positions i've been at.

G.

Love is such an incomprehensible gift. i realized love does not come easy for me, a real love, a love for a person that is so true and deep that is unselfish, uncharacterized, impenetrable, currently i have this love for only one person that i can think of, not to be offensive or crude or comparing but my soul is only detached at this point in my life with one other, and it took me 20 years to realize that love for even them. this thing, this emotion that i feel, love can't even describe literally, it is a burden in the sense that it will always bear on me, i carry it no matter the emotion i am cycling, or the position i am in, i am disregarded in my own emotions by this emotion that i can only describe as pure and eternal. this confuses my heart because i yearn to feel this for more people but i can't, not yet anyway, i hope to share this feeling with others throughout my life, my parents, the rest of my relatives, my future husband if i have one, (which would almost be reassuring cause i wouldn't be afraid to commit to him) but i can't force this Agape feeling, i need a bond a string that cannot be broken. it seems that i, you too if you feel this or ever have, cannot fully except these emotions unless the other person also loves you in the same exact way, a reassurance that i think is necessary for this kind of soul splitting bond, it needs a partner. this is so prideful and dependent but it is the cost for our impotence. we don't deserve to love each other this way, that is why it is so difficult and rare. this also makes me so grateful, thankful, ecstatic, cry with heavy stream of tears, to think about how God loves every single one of us in that indescribable heart wrenching way. there are no more words to describe how ashamed i am to be merely human to other humans, but so thankful for jesus christ.

some awesome things i was allowed to experience.

woah

it has been a few months since I've been back from Africa, the only way i can describe my experience is to say that it was indescribable. it is such an honor to be able to know that God has formed and created me to live over seas, i cant wait to go back.
... i will hopefully be posting a lot of pictures soon, along with recent art, but my camera has been experiencing some difficulties recently so as soon as possible.

Half way

Im sorry I haven't written a lot. I have been in North Africa for a month now. That sounds crazy, I am only here for a few more weeks but it just doesn't feel like it's been a month. Time has gone by so fast but at the same time I feel like I have lived here for years, I love the people and the way life is lived out here that I am already dreading the day I leave cause it is going to be so hard to adjust back to the "American" way of life. Which I don't think I ever got used to even living there my whole life, it's just not ment to be. I finished with Arabic lessons a week ago and I love the language I would like to learn it fluently when I get back in the states, I've also met some amazing girls who are close friends now which will ne hard to leave. The first outing with these girls we received showers of gifts including an attempt of one of the girls shirts literally off her back, thankfully it did not fit, because it is close to impossible to refuse a gift from someone here. The hospitality and genuine care for friends is a beautiful thing to see and hope to continue everywhere, it is an obvious reflection of what our attitude should be in following the example of the Son and these people don't even know Him, it is embarrassing and shameful to look at myself and see that lack of truly WANTING to love others in His name. I've gotten to see the surrounding cities and they are awesome, we are traveling back from one of the cities tonight by train which is also amazing I love trains!! The next few weeks here keep my friends and myself in your thoughts and continue to ask for North Africa to be opened! I love you all, in His name!!

Here!

I am here in North Africa!!!! it seems strange being here finally, but it is also comfortable. i feel like i should be culture shocked or out of place in such a different environment but i feel utterly calm and natural here. it is beautiful and so populated with opportunity. father is making it so obvious to see the world for the world and is making my heart so broken and sad for the people. it is so dark, but we ask to be a light here. hopefully it is so obvious to be a light in such a dark room, but the tricky part is revealing are light to the room. Please ask Father to make let us shine here through opportunities and through a physical appearance of the HS in us. There is so much to do and it is slightly overwhelming but we find strength in our Father and i don't feel worry at all. Please ask for the HS to completely veil us to keep the dark one from corrupting our time. it is so obvious that he is trying to keep the light out of this place and it is heartbreaking but i know that the light will win! Father has been working here for so long and it is amazing to watch him work. i love you all so much, love is such an easy thing to share with people but so many people have not seen it at all. Share the love, although that sounds super cheesy think about what a life looks like without it, and how simply you can change that with a simple smile or kiss on the cheek. just remembering a name here is so important and effective.

Hodson

For Meagan Hodson and her friend Lauren! hope you like them. :)

CERAMICS!!

Here is some ceramics things for sale, they are all hand built by me, fired, glazed, and re-fired. they are one of a kind dish ware, any questions let me know.

Tree trunk vase, completes a tree when filled with flowers or a plant $75

close up of vase

small coffee or tea cups $5 dollars each

small coffee tea cups/ far left/SOLD-$5 middle-$10 right- SOLD

tiny cream cup and tiny button of safety pin holder $5 each

medium size bowels $15 each/SOLD

bottom of above bowels

two small bowels and one medium/ two left bowels-$10 each far right $15

side views of above bowels

tiger plate- SOLD

Gravy or sauce bowels $12 each

UPDATE!

well hello, i just received my final payment so as of now i owe 2,190 give or take between 20-40 dollars i am expecting from shoe and headband customers. this is a lot. a few hours ago i was praying to God to just relieve me of my financial worries, so i'm not worried, just want to inform you guys. During this time of prayer i had this idea to sell one of my eggs to a family who cant have children. i'm having some mixed signals about whether this is biblically okay or not, so if you know you should let me know. my sister thinks that it would be like me having a baby, because it is my DNA, and then not raising my kid. it would be weird that there could be a kid that is mine that is being raised by a different family. i don't know. DON"T freak out everyone, this is just a thought as of now. some weird things go through my mind sometimes, i guess if you know me this would make sense. anyway haha here is an example of a male's headband that i made for Coltin Wester, if you want one let me know (254) 541-6470.

i have more colors and can make bracelets and bags etc.

If 12 give me 20!!

if 12 people gave me $20 dollars i would be caught up to my payments i have for AFRICA!!! just 12. or if 37 people gave me just $7 dollars, 20 people gave me $12.25. I need your help! God has been so gracious to provide for me over the last month, it has been awesome, and im so close!

• i will be doing hair braiding for just $5-$3 dollars depending on the color variation and length of hair. do it its cool!

• im still making shoes too! if you are in the line up for shoes make sure ad get them soon, before i have to leave in May. these are some shoes i made a while ago for Krystal's co-worker, blue and spunky requested.

IF you read this between April 19-April 22 please be praying for the 72 hour prayer tent that is happening on UNT's campus, for tiredness to be eliminated, and people to participate for prayer, not just to fulfill a requirement, also for safety in the weather. Thank you. i love all of you a lot.

Baptisma

The word "baptism" is a transliteration of the Greek word "baptisma" and this word is from a primary Greek verb "bapto," which is also the root of the word baptize. The word means to dip, to dye or to change the identification of. When a piece of white cloth was "bapto" into a vat of blue dye, it no longer was white cloth because its identification was changed to blue cloth. I was baptized March 16th 2011, or this year, on St. Patrick's day! I became a Christian around three years ago, and i have been thinking about being baptized for the past year, and i have finally accomplished this public proclamation. over spring break i had the privilege of serving the wonderful people partying at South Padre island, most of the time we were  shuttling rides to and fro places as a designated driver, getting to have awesome conversations with people about their lives, or hanging out on the beach where thousands of people shoved themselves into a small area to listen to a DJ, dance, and observe the sand buildings of a man evangelizing through his art.
one afternoon we did baptisms in this very area and i decided that it was the perfect place to proclaim my dedication to Jesus Christ. thanks to Chris Newby for baptizing me i got to experience "bapto", or to publicly show that i have changed my identity toward following Christ. it was a beautiful action and many people got to proclaim their love for Jesus in front of  many non-believers. it was awesome to be washed in an ocean too! dipped with the waves as they came in.

passeport mot;كلمة جواز سفر;passport

I have received my first ever passport. the above languages say the word passport in two of the languages that will most likely be the main tongue of the country i will be in. To address to my family in why i cannot say which country specifically i will be going to. the country i will be in for a month is a closed country, this is defined as; Closed Country:A closed country is one that limits or prevents Christian ministry by expatriates as missionaries. Alternatively, these countries may be called creative-access countries or restricted-access countries. This means that legally we cannot be there to preach the good news of Christ, for legal reasons through the organization and for our safety, but we can be there to build relationships with the locals and love on them as much as possible, hoping to exchange our beliefs as we hear theirs. we will be doing a lot of praying, and a lot of watching God work. 


Emotionally i am feeling very calm, which i know is the Holy Spirit relaxing me, because i should be feeling stressed, the issues and drama all around me with my family, money, people all seem to look really stressful and annoying but i don't seem to feel those emotions right now. i'm just joyful about this trip and i want to be in Africa right now! i also just want to praise God for being Jireh: God the Provider. the money for the trip is not all here yet but God has provided, and i have complete faith that he will continue to provide for me.

watercolor/ SOLD

this is an outline of Africa in a bundle of flowers

• 22"x30"
• $120

*HALF PRICE

SHOES

These are a pair of shoes i just finished. they belong to Krystal Stroud, my roommate, and they are very suitable for her personality!

this is an example of the art i complete on plain shoes that need a little spice. i can work on any plain color, and any type of shoe. I can also do any design, picture, and illustration on the shoe, or i can embroider to the best of my ability

• if you bring me a pair of shoes. the work on the shoe is $15
• if i need to purchase the shoe it will be $15 plus the cost of shoe, determined by brand
• please contact me with your shoe size, and design if you would like a pair

:)

African girl and baby. The colors in this painting represent how colorful and joyful people keep their spirits in tough situations. this can echo how as a Christian i will remain joyful because that spirit inside me, Christ, is pure love. a love we cannot understand or imagine to explain. this joy will remain whatever the situation so we are left without excuse to complain.

• 16"x20"
• $40

complementary still life

 This is a complementary color scheme of a still life. complete with a my little pony!

• 18"x24"
• $30

 

 This is a triad exaggerated still life. like shoes?

• 18"x24"
• $40

again contact me if you would like to purchase. either comment or email(catorti@yahoo.com)

SEND ME!

For Sale/SOLD

This is a sunset painting of a scene i saw a few years ago that i will still claim as the greatest sunset i have ever seen.

•  22"x30" 
•   1/4" trim of white.
•  $80
• frame-able or free hanging

Please contact me at catorti@yahoo.com if you are interested in purchasing this piece. All the proceeds of this piece will go to funding my mission trip this summer. :)

Accept

Africa seems to be picking up speed on the arrival date. I am putting the finishing touches on the letters I will be sending out to raise support through prayer and financial means. It is encouraging to write so many addresses and see the people in my life that I can trust and involve in my life and my activities. I sometimes feel solitude, crashed away at school, busy with a life full of random events, homework, class, eating, and sleeping. I used to do these things with, relatively, the same people for 17 years, and for the past two it has adapted to such a different scenery. Change is AWESOME! Looking back on all the addresses of people from those 17 years with the addition of people from the past 2 is such an awesome reflection of the community that God has provided for me.
I feel that life keeps adjusting us so that we leave that consistency and expand through whatever means we let happen. Letting God decide what your expansion is creates such amazing connections, experiences, communities, miracles. Have you ever asked what your purpose in life is? Everyone has or will. One of the great thing about God is once you answer his name with that question thats all that you have to worry about again. Everything is taken care of after that. Life is simple, we want to complicate it but we are built to serve and worship. That pretty much covers everything. Romans 1:18-20 " The wrath of God is being revealed from Heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness. since what may be known about God is plain to them. for since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities -his eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." It is so hard for us, me, to accept that it is so simple to just see and believe God. We of little faith.

Cross freedom

This image is the reason for the title of this blog. This is my second tattoo, that i received August 5th of 2010. I came upon this symbol reading the book Jesus for President,  which I recommend for those who have not read it, the symbol as I interpreted it is the freedom that we get from the cross everyday, every second. The lamb glorified is a symbol of Jesus Christ, being the pure sacrifice, the flag being carried by the lamb has the cross on it resembling the burden and physical crucifixion Jesus went through to pay for our sins. The flag to me is a symbol of freedom and providence that we share with Christ and that we have been freed from our damnation. All encompassing the image is a circle. The circle is a symbol for everlasting, eternal, continuos, which is how i view God. This notion of freedom from Jesus Christ is the name of this blog because we have the freedom in the name of Jesus to spread the word of God, glorify God, and live in the forgiven life that we have been given. For me this is evangelizing to the nations and loving on the people of the world. I hope for this blog to be a way to share what and how God is constantly working in my life, especially this summer in Africa and for you guys to be praying for me and praising with me the miracles i already know God will perform.